If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 37 years, it’s learning from my experiences and mistakes.
I also realize their are people who are in some of the same places I’ve been.
If I can help one person, that’s all that matters.
I’m still learning everyday but I do a few things about life, especially being a single mom, raising kids alone and still being a bread winner.
I will be answering your emails right here on Sex & The Single Mom Advice Column.
Send all emails to firstname.lastname@example.org
Woman who can’t get over a relationship, even tho she was being used the entire time….
Hi, My name is ##### and I’ve been holding onto a man that has repeatedly disrespected and used me.
I like to think of myself as an intelligent and attractive woman with a whole lot to offer.
But! I can not shake this man. I love him and I don’t know how to stop. It’s obvious he doesn’t love me back but I can’t make my heart listen to my head. Help!
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Please know you are NOT the first nor will you be the last to go through being in love alone.
It sounds to me that you are way to good for a loser who takes your love and kindness for a weakness with no regard for your feelings.
Saying you’ll get over it in time may seem like a cliche, but times does heal everything.
First, you need to start the healing process. Hanging on to someone who clearly doesn’t want to be held onto is a vicious cycle, where you will be the only one getting hurt.
GETTING OVER IT & STARTING THE HEALING PROCESS
1. Stop all communication! This may be hard at first but by keeping a line of communication open, it does one thing and one thing only. It keeps your heart, spirit and pride in limbo.
2. Occupy your time….. Find something you enjoy to fill your time. Downtime leads to, too much thinking which leads to rash decision making. Like texting, calling, messaging or embarrassing emotional outbursts.
3. Do NOT self medicate! Sometimes, when you’re hurting its easier to drown your sorrows in unhealthy ways, like:
- Sleeping Around
- Abusing Alcohol
- Abusing Drugs
4. Ignore….Ignore those texts and phone calls. Soon as someone whose hurting you thinks you’ve finally moved on; they become interested. Don’t let this selfish tactic fool you. It’s not a revelation they’re having its reassurance that they still have you under their thumb. If you really want to heal, don’t respond or better yet use your block button, it’s your friend.
5. Allow your FRIENDS to be there for you. This is a time when you will need your friends. Even if it’s just to vent and cry or scream. Having someone who cares about you will make a huge difference and stop you from doing something you’ll regret.
I hope this helps you, even more I hope you apply these tips on the road to being a whole person again. Good luck!